just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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