Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
