Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
