he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
