wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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