also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
