if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
