I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
