I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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