you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
COCAINE IS GR8
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
