I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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