She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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