Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
