sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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