it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
