i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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