If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
