ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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