Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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