I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize