She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
