If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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