Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is Oprah even human
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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