i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize