i will never coherently bang her
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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