Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
