that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
