you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
