I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize