"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
