once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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