i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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