i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
