drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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