Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize