if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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