physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
