hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
