Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
