singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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