I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
