I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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