using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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