Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
