Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
