that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
jump out the window naked night went bad
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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