So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
