what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
