Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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