i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How's work?
Spinning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
