i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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