That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
