"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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