no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
