As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
