Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
