We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
