That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
