Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
